White Fragility

Last week I recognized how we as blacks have tricked ourselves into catering to white people’s fragility. We sit in their presence and hold our tongue and bite back our words, when they say offensive provoking bull shit. We sit there and cringe when Mary Katherine says “thugish” or “ratchet” or other offensive ignorant adjectives to describe our blackness.

We sit there and give white people “passes” not because they don’t know better, but because we just don’t want to be ‘that black person.’ That black person pulling the race card. That black person that’s always making race an issue. When actuality, you’d simply be the black person who calls them out on their shit.

See Mary Katherine and  Brent have spent their whole lives not giving a damn about black feelings. They say what they say and spew words of ignorance and discrimination, and we as blacks have to suppress the urge to say, “ayyy don’t say that disrespectful shit to me again” or “guh i’ll show you a thug. keep talking.”

We have to suppress the urge to live up to every low expectation they have of us, because if at some point we address the issue, then we are in the wrong. Then it becomes about US making it a race thing, because white fragility does not allow them to be wrong. White fragility does not allow them to realize that us correcting them is NOT us targeting them. It’s us expressing how their actions and words are not only wrong, but also are creating an environment where we are marginalized and targeted.

Damn you white fragility. Damn every conversation I had to sit through and hold my tongue in an effort to not offend the offender. Damn drunk Anna Grace, who got mad, when I told her “No you can’t touch my hair. I am not a dog,” and had the audacity to respond, “well you sure are a bitch though.” Damn the fact that I could not respond the way I wanted to respond, because…… white fragility. white privilege.

One day we will cease the catering. One day we will stop giving passes. One day we will crush your fragility the same way you have crushed ours for years. One day.


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